Friday, December 31, 2010
It's the last night of the year and I can honestly say that this has been one hell of a year. I keep focusing on the negative which is truly unlike me, but a clean slate start tomorrow right?
1 incurable SYNDROME that I'll try to manage for the rest of my life. Good thing I like pills. Fuck you fibro.
2 old friends that died too young. We are all just into our 40's. I call not fair.
4 new tattoos. OH SO AWESOME.
2 new tricks I taught my doggie. Do a little dance, and roll over. see below.
1 new bathrobe. Sweet.
Too much nail polish to count. At least to mention to you normies anyways.
6 new drugs I got to try. Side effects are fun. NOT.
2 drinks is all it takes to interact with my meds. Learned that the hard way at a party. Which leads to
10 panic attacks in which I thought I may be having a stroke but fortunately didn't! HURRAY FOR THAT.
1 poker tournament that out of the 2 I played I won. Cool.
2 new pairs of shoes. Way less than Jake and Chris.
200+ awesome nights of sleep on the bed that dreams are made of.
1 earworm that WILL. NOT. DIE. see below.
100+ horror movies of pure joy. The grosser and nastier the better.
6 times I watched Kick Ass. I love that movie.
2 little doggies that give life meaning.
1 awesome kidlet that isn't a kidlet anymore.
1 fabulous husband. He knows it.
Too much time missing my Mom. Still do.
Happy New Year everyone. 2010, don't let the door hit you on the ass on your way out.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
I am not known for for my X-mas spirit. I haven't been fussed about celebrating it for many years. You'd think this year would be the same and in many ways it is.. yet it's the first year I've had gifts wrapped, both of our little trees and lights up well before X-mas eve. Both of my BFF's have lost a parent too, and both have said that the first holiday is the worst. Just the worst. I can see that coming down the road, but am letting little lights shine on all day/night to combat that kind of dark. It seems to be working.
This little birdie is one of my favourite ornaments. My parents brought it to Canada after being stationed in Germany over 50 years ago. I think we started out with maybe 6 of these but you know how that goes.. kids+ornaments=smashy. This is the lone survivor. My Dad gave it to me this summer after my Mum died. I was super happy to have a place to put him this X-mas. Isn't he sweet? Why is he a he? I have no idea.
Last night Pickles decided to wear his toy as a hat as he sat there squeaking it. Over and over and over. He is truly the dog with the most personality I've ever had. This is a good representation of what evenings are like here. Chilled out with knitting on the couch, a big glass of water and dogs all lounge-y. I just noticed this is actually a decent picture of one of Chris' atom tattoos. He has the matching one on his other arm. I wondered as we were at his company X-mas party what his co-workers would think if saw us both in sleeveless shirts. ...
Aren't they quite the pair? In Pickles mind it's a trio there. Rocky is real to him I think sometimes.
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Proof that I have been doing stuff besides the whinge. I actually have been super productive. Did some test knits, some holy shit I have no hat must knit hat now, knitting. Some more scarfy knits too. I have no desire to knit mittens but I need some more. Maybe I'll (gasp) buy some. Also, proof that if there is any knitted objects laying about you can be sure Pickles is resting at least one body part on it. I had to take some pictures for the test knitting I did, and had to shoo him away repeatedly. He is such a cam whore.
I knit this Cordova out of some bulky yarn I had left over from a sweater fail. It looks smashing on, but dude, I am not subjecting anyone a picture of me right now. I really need to tint my brows. White eyebrows=ugh.
I knit 2 of these. One right after the other. How whack is that? Whipped has proved to be one of my fave things to knit this year. I can totally see doing another one out of worsted weight. It would be like a puffy cloud.
This was nice to knit too. I know part of it is the yarn choice but Chinook was a great TV knit. The Punta Yarn was an absolute joy to knit. I'd like to do something a little tighter gauge wise next time with it. Also, OMG CHEAP. I got it at Pudding for 10$. Yeah 460 yards for 10$. I picked up a red a green too. Good deal!
This was the test knit. Isn't it gorgeous? I used up some Rowan Silky Wool I had and it was a great pairing with the pattern (Intermediate Scarf in Silk Rhapsody Glitter) and blocked out like a dream. Lucky me to be able to test something so freaking lovely!
In other news, Chris and I got new phones!! I have a pal who has an android phone that I have been secretly coveting for some time now, and I have to say it was that covet-ness that made me do it. We weren't eligible for a hardware upgrade from rogers yet (2 months for me, 12 for Chris) but I managed to persevere*and get us both upgraded now!
AHHHHHHHHH!! It's the proper internets in my phone!! Fantastic thing this technology! It's so pretty, and shiny and oh my gracious!
Pickles says stay warm and beware the gummi bears... they are 3 days from taking over the world.
*stay on the phone for 45 mins on hold to the retention dept. Once I got a service rep, she rather unhappily told me since I was sent there by a shop she couldn't refuse my request. So I said "um.. yay for me? and boo for you.. sorry" BUT YAY NEW SEXY PHONE!!!
Monday, December 13, 2010
This is hard to write about. I mean come on, we all have it sofa king good here. How can a whinge from a person who never has to worry about where I'll sleep, if I can eat or if I will be safe count? By accident of birth, I live in the best country in the world*, where my standard of living is ridiculous compared to most everywhere else in world. Yet here it is, the incessant voice of pain, banging at my door. Some days are easier than others not to open that door, sometimes the damn door is already open by the time I get to it, and sometimes, I can't NOT open it. Know what? I've come to realise that my life is changed, forever marked differently than it was. Get over yourself Karen.
Things I love:
-new tea mugs
-my husband who will sit up with me until all hours. And think it's awesome.
-dogs. all dogs but especially mine.
-video games. I'm looking at you Dragon Age. and um, Alistair.
-my kiddo who is one of the funniest people I know. Kind and sweet. He'll roll his eyes when he reads this. But you are, so there.
-my sheepskin on the couch. Why did I wait so long to get one of these? WHY?
-pink lady apples.
-especially well produced singles. music and yarns.
This list could go on to be gigantor, but I'll keep some things for another day. I keep them in a little chest in my mind and bring them out to turn around in my hands when I"m feeling like this. Hold fast, the ride can get bumpy!
* true fact
Friday, December 03, 2010
Don't know where the time is going. This year is sliding by like crazy. Not being measured by happy moments this time, but things that leave a red mark on my heart. Hope they will fade, and with time and liberal applications of love, nail polish and puppies that they won't scar. Another friend from the olden days has died. Too young and tragic to forget, it makes me lay down and fall backwards into the past. It makes me sit up and take stock of what I got and know it's all good. Let the lovin' come back to me..
So what makes everything better? This. I try to explain that it's pain with a purpose, productive pain. Chris sees it too now. It's a moment frozen.
Sometimes all you want to do is shine, and now it will be that way forever. I love my tattoo artist. Rick. Fits us in like old friends and bangs out minimal ideas into full fledged art.
I said on Facebook that old friends know the best stories and they really do. I was lucky enough to get a flying visit with a friend and it felt like we were 15 still. With older more real life stuff, but still lying on the couch, it was 1984 again. Lou Reed says "You're going to reap just what you sow". I am trying to sow the seeds of a better year. Let the planting start.
Thursday, November 18, 2010
My side of the bed when Chris is gone. Like now. He is on his way to West Virginia via Columbus Ohio. Usually I can think of heaps of things to do when I'm alone. The weather though, she sucks right now. Cold, snowy, blowy grossness. I dug out once and that was enough. I made sure I had provisions to keep me going (yogurt? check! lots of fizzy water? check! enough random stuff to keep me going? check! menus for good Thai delivery? check!) and snuggled down. I did manage to sneak in a haircut, and just like in the 80's wore a leather jacket that was completely inappropriate for the weather. So maybe that explained the hair? Sure. Let's go with that.
Rock on my bitches, rock on.
Monday, November 08, 2010
Sometimes I think I need to call my mom to tell her something. And I remember that I can't. It doesn't happens as much any more, but it comes out of the blue and leaves a strange metallic taste in my mouth. A feeling of unreality. My dad sent me a picture of her marker. In an email entitled FYI. Only he would do that. He is funny.
I'm slowly coming to realise that I am going to have to manage this stupid disorder* FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE. I guess. I've forgotten to take my pills a few times now, and that my possums, is not a good thing. NOT AT ALL. Also, I am so disordered I can't take my vitamins unless I can chew them. Pills are good, but I am already tired of them. sigh. Oh, woe is me. Hardly. But calcium chews are pretty tasty. I now call them calci-yums!
I have started trying to brush the dogs teeth. Yeah, I know. But Max has the breath of a thousand corpses** and I've noticed Pickles getting a little bit if tartar on a couple of his teeth. I've been slacking on giving him the rawhide chews cause I don't want him to get fat(ter) but think his teeth are more important. It's way less fun than I thought, this dog tooth brushing. Ok, they actually aren't bad. But the next puppy I get? Starting this program EARLY.
I have been knitting, knitting, knitting. Anything to take my mind off my pain/annoyance at myself/shitty tv/general malaise. I even have pictures to prove it!
A lovely little scarfy thing called Laodice that was a bit of a slog to get through, but worth it in the end. Although that might be the Malabrigo talking...
This pattern was so much fun to knit, I'm actually knit another version of it in a different weight (and finished it last night) right after this one. It's called Whipped, but it was really whip it good.
I bought this yarn off of someone on Ravelry. I don't usually go for intense variegation anymore, but the colours of this just called to me I guess. The yarn was a joy to knit with, from an indie dyer called Ruby Sapphire. I LOVED it. Really gorgeous yarn, and I loved this pattern too.. so pretty,
My little green tree is still alive (better be) and it is called a Golden European Tree. I bought it at Safeway for 4$. It looks awesome on my desk..
*I had to go to Wikipedia to find out if it was a syndrome, disease or disorder. I think disorder sounds like the lesser of the three evils.
**maybe because he eats poo. I have tried everything. whatever. he doesn't have that long left, we'll deal. ugh. gross.
Sunday, November 07, 2010
Friday, October 29, 2010
I came across a blog of a person I used to be really good friends with. An enormous part of my life included her. We were inseparable for a good long time. Now? We don't speak. Not one thing was the impetus of the ending of our friendship, but many small things, and the realisation that a toxic person is toxic no matter how long you've known them. No matter how much history you've had with them. Reading her blog made me understand how important it is to remember the way things really were. Not some sort of bullshit revisionist history you create to romanticise yourself, or to make you look better to your audience. Warts and all, it's valuable to be able to look back and sort out why you did things, to ensure you don't make those same mistakes over and over. Lessons learned the hard way seem to be the ones that we should try to hold on to. To really implement into our lives. It made me a little bit sad to read her blog, but it also was a fabulous reminder of why she isn't in my life anymore. I'm better for it. Her, I don't so much care either way.
I used to be all about the Halloween. Dressing up, going out, decorating. It was my Christmas. Now, I'm ambivalent. I see things in the shops I would have gone mad for, gross awful things which I still squeeeeee about, but no longer want to buy it all and hang it up in my living room. Since when did the appropriation of all the horror movie stuff that shocked the normies get normal? Hmmm.....
Pickles went and hurt himself this week. we figure he went into the long dead grass in the backyard and got something in his eye. It never got bad enough to get him to the vet (but I did make an appointment for him next week that I canceled), but enough to worry the Dog-Mom in me. Jake and I were chatting about it, and I remarked that Max had never had to hit the vet for anything more than shots. Jake said "Max may be stupid*, but he sure is careful!" How true.
Happy Halloween little monsters!
*he is. he doesn't care. he really really is. we love him more for it.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
She was right.
So damn right.
It really is the best ice cream I have ever eaten. Chris agrees. Even Jake liked it, and he isn't one for the sweets. So um, yeah. I love you ice cream. LOVE YOU.
Poster in my kitchen. I love this poster, this movie, this time of year, all of it. But mostly the poster and the movie.
Jake and my Dad. The picture is a year or 2 old (and my Mom took it) but they are such cheeky buggers the pair of them.
Lolcats! Everyday. Yup, cats on the internets is one of my fave things.
I wish I had a pic of my knitting bitches but I don't. They are definitely 2 of my favourite things. Love my gals.
*or is she a friend? DEVIL WOMAN!
Friday, October 15, 2010
Welcome to October!!!! Time for lovely walks through the drifting, crunching leaves. The smell of decay and cool winds. Hallowe'en (that's for you Christine) and candy, costumes, spooky pumpkins. Or there's this...
I would be lying if I said I hate this. I don't. I kinda like snow. Maybe not in the dead of winter when we get 30 cm in a day, but now? It's nice. It makes me want to cook soup and knit more frantically. With heaps of horror movies to watch, what more can a gal want? It lets me put off the haircut that Pickles needs, it encourages snuggling. All good things.
Also it hides dog turds in the back yard. Pickles is entranced with it, Every year it's like he forgets and has to rediscover it. Usually it scares him a little bit at first.
He keeps standing in it, pushing it with his nose a bit to see if it will move, stick or melt. Max? He sees it and looks at me like "really? ugh. ok, let's get this over with. help me down the stairs." Poor doggie.
I've been making some rings* in my frenzy to appear fashionable. They are easy peasy and very glam I must say. See?
Swanky huh? I've given a few away, and have been thinking of re-opening my etsy shop. We'll have to see. It's a little sick that I'm matching my polish to them. Wow.
Every morning this makes me just that much happier. Which is a good thing as we are tinkering with my Fibro meds right now. I'm in some weird place that is somewhat unsettling (and I've had some shitty things happening that has nothing to do with anything but plumbing. Of the real kind in the house, not MY plumbing! Those in know, know how awful this has been. :/) but I have faith that I'll get these meds sorted eventually. I'm not sure if I'm sleepy or in pain or just restless sometimes and it does come out in a blather. But I have good friends and an amazing family to help me through this. I'm seriously the luckiest girl I know.
Wow... that got real serious there. Now to completely change the subject, here's Pickles with his stupid raccoon (racon for Jake) Rocky. He ripped a huge hole in his head and won't let me fix it. Such a true character.Or jerk. Take your pick.
Knit fast, Die Warm!
*not for you Sauron, Bugger off.